what to say when someone calls you old

150+ Funny and Sarcastic Answers to "How Onetime Are You?"

Cheeky Kid is a cybernaut who spends a lot of time browsing the web, grasping infinite data, and reveling in entertainment and fun.

Then, how one-time ARE you? Next time you get asked that question, try ane of these funny responses.

Photo past Sarah Ruhullah on Unsplash; Canva

Witty Comebacks to Questions Near Your Age

"How old are you?" This ancient question never gets one-time! People do, merely not this question. Equally such, we humans take come up with various answers and reactions in response to this dreaded question.

Many tell the truth. Some deny it. And the others—they endeavor to exist funny, sarcastic, rude, or clever!

Now, y'all just have to pick your poison. Being honest is platonic. But, if you don't want to requite a boring answer to the same old boring question, then use this list as an idea machine for your historic period-related answers!

"How Old Are You?" Answers

• Erstwhile enough to know ameliorate, but still too young to care.
• How old practice you think I am?
• Age is simply a number.
• I have no idea.
• It doesn't matter how old I am!
• That's a personal question!
• It's rude to enquire people their historic period!
• Older than I expect.
• Younger than I look.
• Give thanks yous for that wonderful question!
• Information technology's a hole-and-corner.
• Every bit old as yous desire me to be, dearest.
• I'chiliad older than I have ever been.
• You know, historic period doesn't matter.
• Take a estimate!
• Yes!
• I'm perfectly legal, are you lot?
• I'm at the age that will make you respect me.
• You run into, I don't really believe in age or numbers.
• Umm . . . similar well-nigh people my historic period.
• If the secret of my historic period comes out, it might be used against me. I've had more than enemies who have known my age than those who haven't.
• How practise y'all expect me, of all people on Earth, to know my age?
• Are you flirting with me right at present?
• Who the heck keeps track of their age?! I don't.
• It's a merchandise secret.
• What's information technology to you?
• I'g onetime plenty to requite advice, merely not sometime plenty to take it.
• Non old plenty, I judge.
• I'd rather exist a teenager forever!
• Are yous hit on me correct now?
• Why in the world practise you desire to know?
• That's a ridiculous question!
• I'm at an age that I've never been ready for.
• Before I answer that, you need to provide some context.
• Old enough to be doing any I'm doing right at present.
• Long story short, I've tried adulthood, and I'1000 done with it!
• I'm at an historic period that I've never had any interest in being.
• Does information technology matter?
• I exercise non want to disclose information technology. There are far too many ramifications to making my age known to the earth.
• Lamentable, can you say that one more than time?

"I'm perfectly legal, are you?"

Elien Dumon, CC0, via Unsplash

Funny Responses to "How Old Are You lot?"

• Oh dear, I've lost count!
• A lady never tells.
• I'thou not.
• Erstwhile enough to be your daddy/mommy.
• I remember pooping without a smartphone.
• I feel like I'one thousand having a heart attack!
• I'm betwixt zero and death!
• The last person who asked me that is still in the hospital.
• That depends. Are nosotros using the '50 is the new 20' rule?
• What? I tin can't hear you! Say that again louder! My hearing is not what it used to be!
• I'thousand at the historic period where I feel alive but expressionless inside.
• I'grand so one-time, I forgot my age!
• Whatever my historic period is!
• It's the same number as your IQ score.
• Unfortunately, I'm not sometime plenty to be on my deathbed. Pitiful.
• Promise me first that you lot won't laugh.
• That question is giving me a headache.
• Why, practice you lot demand someone to buy you a beer?
• Age? Is that delicious?
• *pretends to asphyxiate on food or drinkable*
• What's that?
• Not old at all.
• Ever closer to death.
• I get out of the nursing home for one day and you already want to put me back in?!
• I've lost track of how many days old I am.
• My parents forgot to tell me that. Ah, no! It's as well late now. They've forgotten most it, too!
• Don't you mean how Young am I?
• I'm single and set to mingle, if that'due south what you're asking.
• Who the heck are you, and why are you in my house?!

"I'm at the age where I feel live merely dead inside."

rawpixel, CC0, via Unsplash

What to Say Instead of Your Bodily Age

• I'yard like 300 or something.
• Legal enough.
• I'g a million years old!
• I'k 13 months erstwhile.
• I'm 100 in elf fourth dimension.
• Hmm, I'yard 8,398 years old!
• four.6 billion years old!
• I'thou ageless and timeless.
• I'm immortal.
• Rated PG, I guess.
• Rated M, for sure!
• I could be nine. I could be 13. I could be infinite. I could exist an conflicting. I could be . . .
• My IQ is iv times my age. Just solve 4x with that slice of information.
• Today, I feel *insert your preferred historic period here*.
• I'm three in dog years.
• I'chiliad a quart and half a stone.
• Not a day over 100.
• I was born in the year of the *insert Chinese zodiac sign here*. Go figure!
• Permit'south merely say, I'thousand adequately young.
• I experience really young right now.
• Former enough!
• I'm forever young!
• As erstwhile as the Earth.
• I've been seen driving, plenty said!

Witty Answers to "How Onetime Are You?"

• I am ancient. I am infinite.
• Somewhere between nil and 100.
• I'm as old equally my natural language, but definitely older than my teeth.
• I'one thousand younger than 100, but older than v.
• I might also be a fossil.
• Who said I got chronologically dated?
• I'm -123418092891239. Pretty young, if I must say so myself.
• I'm a twenty-four hour period older than I was yesterday.
• I'm younger than the biblical patriarchs.
• I know, I don't look onetime enough to be so accomplished.
• In dog years or cat years?
• I'm younger than my parents, merely older than my younger siblings.
• I don't know. I don't count in years, only days. You attempt to effigy it out.
• Do by lives count?
• I'm way older than the net.
• Age doesn't matter unless you are cheese or wine.
• Lamentable, I am not looking for a bride/groom.
• Age is just a number, and mine is unlisted.
• Historic period is an upshot of mind over matter. If you don't heed, it doesn't matter.
• I'chiliad quondam enough to recollect the fourth dimension when the net had not gone public yet.
• Well, I still recall existence kicked out from heaven.
• I'm old enough to forget my age.
• *Insert complicated math equation hither to solve for age*
• Age is just a number. Numbers are infinite, and so are the possible answers to this question.
• My age changes every second. Therefore, if I gave you lot a precise answer, I would be lying because it would exist an age of the past.
• Every bit erstwhile as the universe! Remember that matter cannot exist created or destroyed.
• I don't purchase into the social construct of chronological age.

"Age is an upshot of heed over matter. If yous don't mind, so it doesn't thing."

Andrii Podilnyk, CC0, via Unsplash

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Sarcastic Replies to "How Onetime Are You?"

• I don't know. You tell me!
• Why, are y'all a cop?
• I'm too old for this sh*t!
• Immature enough to not intendance.
• Old enough to tell y'all that this is a rude question!
• I'm offended!
• Permit's just say, my birthday was last year.
• Are you serious? You just asked me that question a year ago.
• I'm old plenty to ask wise questions. I'm sure y'all're non.
• Not every bit old as you!
• You're not my type. Buzz off!
• I'm old enough to know that I don't need to answer that question.
• Yous don't demand to know. I bet you tin't even count that high.
• I'1000 younger than your wrinkles prove you are.
• Oh, I'g also young/old for you, and then scram!
• And so, you're gonna gauge me by my age? Ugh!
• Don't enquire.
• I have no obligation of telling you that.
• Why, you're gonna approximate me?
• My personal information is none of your business!
• I'thousand old enough to know better than to ask that offensive question.
• I'g old enough to know that your clothes went out of style ages agone.

Surprising Answers to the Same Erstwhile Dull Question

• Depends on your 'definition' of age.
• Ancient!
• Y'all become first!
• I've got 6 grandchildren.
• Next question, please!
• What? You lot don't know how quondam you dad/mom is?!
• I'yard not sure, let me call my 25-year-old twin brother/sister and enquire.
• I'll reply that if you tell me start how much you counterbalance.
• I call up having a pet dinosaur.
• I'one thousand as well young that information technology says 'you're going to jail' on my underwear.
• Older than your existence.
• That question is my least favorite.
• Looks like my anti-wrinkle cream is working!
• I knew Cerberus when it was still a puppy.
• If I tell you lot, I will take to kill y'all.
• Well, I did make a pact with the devil.
• Doesn't matter. You and me could never work.
• Old enough to know you lot're in trouble.
• I had no idea that it changes every year. How do you manage to keep rails?
• I've forgotten more than you'll ever larn in your life.
• Who cares how old I am when I still have bendable knee joint joints.
• I'm old enough to be ugly, merely immature enough to be physically fit.
• I've stopped aging long ago.
• I saturday abreast Jesus when I was in second grade.
• Sometime enough to lookout man the whole globe burn down!
• How much will you pay me for the answer?
• I died long ago.
• I'm then old, I knew Noah equally a boy.
• When I was your age, I was *insert age of your curious inquisitor hither*.
• I'g so old, I remember the fourth dimension when singers actually sang and had good voices.
• I'm still alive and that's what matters!

"I'one thousand so old, I knew Noah as a boy."

marco barsotti, CC0, via Unsplash

john watson on June 15, 2020:

I'm old plenty to ask wise questions. I'm sure you lot're not

Ella on June 13, 2020:

How onetime are you? Is that a need to know or want to know question?

Satisfied on December 26, 2019:

Thanks I've enjoyed reading this and I beloved it :-)

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, Bharat on January 29, 2019:

That was an interesting read and quite relatable!

I don't even call back, how many times, I have answered that question. It's a natural question, sometimes asked due to marvel, sometimes to make full the personal details, and sometimes just to appraise, how well you have lived. I don't mind telling the true age.

Nice article and well written. Enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing.

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Source: https://pairedlife.com/etiquette/Funny-and-Sarcastic-Answers-to-How-Old-Are-You

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